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[May. 18th, 2007|02:12 am] |
im home again. back with the parents for the summer. its been really relaxing in some ways-but really stressful in other ways.
im trying to find a second job, transferring school, and dealing with all the stupid "hometown drama".
but im surviving.
its weird being back. i started to fall back into my old bad eating habits...but i think ive got it under control. im trying to avoid taking any pills until i have all this other stuff under control...as far as school and work go...just so i can focus.
im going to see my boyfriend on june 5th and i want to look better.
i have 17 days...lets see just how much i can lose... |
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[May. 2nd, 2007|05:22 pm] |
starting to fast today.
hopefully if all goes well ill make it until friday night.
Started back on my diet pills just now-and it felt great.
i was taking farenheit for a long time before so im just gonna keep going with those since they actually work.
buuut im gonna look for some new ones in the next week or so.
i feel great.
<3 |
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| RePlay |
[May. 1st, 2007|08:20 pm] |
I deleted every one of my old entries on this thing and am starting over completely.
Everything in my life is different now so I decided I needed to start over to adjust to it.
I've been in college since august and my two best friends have acted like parents the entire time. They keep my weight up and make sure i eat and all that.
I honestly appreciate their concern...but i feel disgusting constantly.
I'm moving back home for the summer and I know its my only chance to make myself feel better and get back on track. I need it. I can't hate myself anymore. I can't allow myself to wake up every morning and hate the way I look. And hate the way I feel even more.
The downside to going home for the summer: i'm going to be away from my boyfriend until i get back. He got me off the diet pills I had been taking for over a year and he actually made me feel GOOD about it. He helps me.
But I'm ready to be strong. And to be okay for the first time in months.
I'm starting over.
& I will feel better. |
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